The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize