Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
