It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
