PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
