D3 body, D1 cock
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
