I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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