Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize