Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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