there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
