My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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