We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
And then my night got REAL pukey
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
