Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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