remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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