You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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