garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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