and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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