If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
