I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
