Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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