so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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