I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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