I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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