Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize