So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
