the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
