My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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