I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
