is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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