I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
