there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Everyone says I win the strip club
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
