thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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