Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
