coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
