whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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