he told me I talked like a deaf person
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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