Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
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He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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