I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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