$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
