I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize