After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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