But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
