how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
