Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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