there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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