i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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