I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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