your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
