Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
