honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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