i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
