Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
