Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
