genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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