i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
