Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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