I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
so much tequila, so little girl.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
