I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
