i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So much rum. So many feels.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize