I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
