If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
