what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
